Identity theft

I seem to get hung up with personality and identity very often. And by very often, I mean perhaps every two years or so. As if scheduled, bi-annually on the dot, I would stand offside in confusion as I try to define my own personality beyond the word "nice". And then I would lie in confusion over when I lost it, and what it was to begin with. These useless introspective sessions leave a weird and ultimately unpleasant aftertaste that lingers for a few days, and as I am trying to scrape the flavour away with my tongue, I realize maybe this is an effective distraction/trial/influence placed on a recurring event cycle.

Living life as it is and responding to the world as I naturally do, is being at ease. But once you become aware of the process and try to view it from the perspective of others, that awareness robs of original, genuine reactions that are reflections of personality. 

Looking back, I guess one let trait I have always wanted to have was to be smart. But being intelligent isn't a personality. When translated into personality, it can easily morph into conceit, pretentiousness or social aloofness.

Confidence. 自信感。자신감. What do I believe about myself? I believe I am kind. I believe I am enthusiastic. I believe I am open. I believe I am resilient. I believe I am optimistic. I believe I am malleable. I believe I am aware. I believe I am patient. I believe I am of great value.

And I believe my happiness does not depend upon the acknowledgment of others. I believe that values shape personality, and my current values are worth adapting to.