Breaking News: General Assembly Announces End of the Kpop Decade

The Wonderland Press
June 6, 2020 22:40

On Wednesday, June 3, 2020, the General Assembly (Me, Myself and I) announced its decision to terminate all consumption of kpop-related entertainment content.

Effective immediately, the General Assembly will halt acceptance of official-release material and community content on all internet platforms through a one-off withdrawal. This revolutionary decision comes in the wake of an internal evaluation of Operation 26.5, which was initiated three months prior.

The representative member Myself (brain) cited "unbalance, growth regression and unwarranted dejection caused by increasingly excessive consumption" as the main reason for the decision.

"We have noted, with reluctant admission, the objective impact the latest group of interest has had on the General Assembly in the past two years in terms of emotional expenditure, life-purpose clarity, self-perception and time management," it expanded. "Due to, but in contrast to, the image of intelligence, artistry and visual pleasure presented, members of the General Assembly return to real-world responsibilities more critical of self and past choices, more deluded over the definition of youth and fun and, ironically, less energized to act upon desired change."

These observations are not new. Internal research has been following the negative impact of such consumption for a decade, with similar conclusions. The final catalyst, however, was discovered by an external affiliate. When questioned, member Me (body) explained that a close stakeholder had expressed concern over "the direct relation between the intensity of energy and tension in ingested content--especially of the variety and production genres--and the General Assembly's recent change in mannerisms, communication style, outward attitude and general disposition". Results from a special round of research from this perspective confirmed this gradual and subconscious change as causing the General Assembly fatigue, all the while giving off desperate and disingenuous vibes.

The termination is seen as a difficult movement. Member I (heart) was heard crying throughout the announcement. When interviewed, it described the deliberation process as "painful". "Having to part ways with dynamic personalities that have become familiar and shaped our comfort zone for the past decade is hard," it mentioned. "We have become emotionally invested in their habits, their relationships and, most bittersweet of all, their growth. It has been a challenge accepting that we are relinquishing our position in their lives, as well as theirs in ours, and that their journey will continue without us. Frankly speaking, it hurts, and I believe it will remain a challenge for a while."

In addition, this is the end to the dream of pursuing musical artistry. Member I describes it as "a wake-up call tinged with regret, sadness but ultimately foresight."

Despite concerns, the General Assembly remains optimistic in the shift. Concluding remarks highlighted hope and peace as overarching themes for the remainder of Operation 26.5. "We wholeheartedly believe this is the right course of action for growth and lasting happiness, and we intend to see this solution through. We ask for your support and blessing, and we hope to present a more balanced, wholesome and joyful Assembly when we meet again."