The evolution of emotion

It really feels as if all but an ember of my true, usually unwithheld emotions has been stripped from my heart at the most awkward moment. Try as I may to defy this law, activity of the tear ducts is directly proportional to fluctuations of the heart. This near-stagnant, mute pulsing of emotions is barely enough to sustain, and my eyes are painfully dry at a time where it would be more appropriate to have them perpetually dramatically moist. Freezing, of thought and emotion, seems to my automatic response upon introduction of grief.

And at this most inopportune day of the week, week of the month, month of the year, another most inopportune emotion swells to record-breaking levels. The thesis statement of this emotion is an equally inopportune choice. The mere idea is deemed even more outrageous under the aforesaid situation. (I had always dismissed the idea to begin with, but then again, it had never been this strong.) I think Inopportune Emotion is stealing Deserved Emotion's thunder right now. And that's just not fair.

Then again, who's to say what's fair in emotion? The Theory of Evolution, as uncertain as it is, makes clear one thing: survival ain't one to play fair. In fact, ousting emotion would probably help survival. Would that mean that I'd have to give up emoticons, too? Dang.

Which is why, then, I have chosen to live---not for methodology, but for ideology; not for blind love, but for seeing faith; not for survival, but for hope. "Evolution" means to change. Shall I embrace my emotions and wait things out? I'm trusting that the ember has enough potential energy to restore. Perhaps when the deluge stored below my eyelids is finally unleashed, I can make room for the current set of Inopportunity. The "In-" might even fall away by then.

How's that for a change.